11 "Lessons" About Driving in Portugal

I've lived and driven in many places including learning to drive on the opposite side of the street and I've discovered through the years that every culture has a unique take on driving. Portugal is no exception. A part of our decision to move to Portugal was to take our car with us. We had a number of reasons for this, chief among them being that we already owned it outright, and two years on we're still debating on whether that was the right decision or not. Last week I finally received my official Portuguese drivers license so to celebrate I'm sharing some of my most important lessons learned about driving on Portuguese roads.

Happy driving!

1. There will always be someone driving faster and more aggressive than you.
2. Parking is a premium so go ahead and take that space on the side walk, in front of my driveway, the shopping center exit, or double-park behind my car. Oh, you have your hazards on? That makes it all better.
3. Buying a station wagon in the following brands: Mercedes, BMW, VW, or Audi grants you exclusive access to the "Nutty Speeders" club.
4. Things such as speed limits and common driving courtesies become mere suggestions upon entrance to above said club.
5. Remember, though you've done nothing wrong its always, always, always your fault.
6. Rear-ends and fender benders happen, a lot. I've been rear-ended more in 2 years here than my entire driving life in the U.S. (See #5)
7. Traffic enforcement you say? Nope, they're not patrolling the roads because they're too busy doing random neighborhood document stops. Those papers aren't going to check themselves.
8. Of course there are posted speed limits but there are only two real speeds on Portuguese roads, ultra-fast and ultra-slow. Finding yourself caught in front of one or behind the other will ruin your mood. (See #5)
9. Window tint is a privilege that you pay the government to have. "May I make my car cooler your excellency?"
10. If you're changing lanes one by one you're doing it wrong. Nutty Speeders change across 4 lanes and only seconds before needing to exit. Extra points for spraying everyone behind you with windshield washer fluid at the same time.
11. Trying to find that place armed only with an address? Good luck. It doesn't matter what Google Maps said.